Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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