Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
