i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
