I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
