he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
