So gin and wine won't be happening again
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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