Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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