well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
