Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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