The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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