We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
