I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
wrigley field is MILF paradise
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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