I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
