did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
