Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
