Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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