farters have to be the big spoon...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
