she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
