I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You've changed since you got that strap on
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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