my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
