I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
