I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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