All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
