He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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