I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
