Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
