I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
