O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
