thus making me awesome and them whores
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
