Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
