My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
