we made out on top of his cat.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
God, I missed his penis.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
