I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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