Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
