i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
A+ Viking dick
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
