i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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