Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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