How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Randomize
