he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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