She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
