Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My nipple is on Facebook.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
