Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
