You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
