This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
