She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
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