just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
