Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
