ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
