you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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