I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
