white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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