He asked me if I "almost moaned"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
