i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
