You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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