brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's blow job season.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
