He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
