I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Everclear isn't food dammit
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
